Branching Out: Supper Club Style

Let me start off this post with some good old fashioned stereotyping, it hasn’t hurt anyone yet, right?

-Married Group: Single people have not yet reached “adult status” regardless of age, and wouldn’t understand real issues and problems associated with life after marriage, besides, it is too irritating to hear singles complaining about all the “freedom” they have.

-Singles Group: We have nothing but free time and need to party all the time, married people aren’t welcome because they always have to plan hang out time and we don’t like to plan. Additionally, it is annoying to hear married people complaining about their spouse when “options” are scarce.

-Hipsters: We don’t care about anything but making ugly stuff look cool, so if your sense of style is classy, preppy, or “other”, then you won’t fit in.

-Grey Haired Group: It is too hard to keep up with technology so we don’t have anything in common with the younger crowd. It is easier to talk about how things used to be amazing until the younger generations messed it all up. Besides, the young people don’t have time to talk to us, they are too busy have sex and being promiscuous.

-Social Justice Group: We are the only ones who care about the world and people, if you live in an advanced nation, you don’t have any problems that are worthy of complaint. We want to actively participate in change.

-Mom Group: Our lives belong to our children, if you don’t have kids, you don’t understand. Stop making us feel bad that we cannot squeeze you in between dance class, baseball games, soccer, cheerleading, laundry and bath time.

Hopefully, I haven’t offended too many people. The point is that with the ridiculousness of some of these above mentioned stereotypes is a little bit of truth in how we think about these groups. We don’t hang out with certain types of people because of how we view ourselves and the groups we do or don’t associate with. So, we stay in “our” group of friends because it is safer and easier, effectively cutting out the rest of the world.

What I want to talk about it is how to facilitate change in a community. This is a subject that I think about all the time and often feel overwhelmed by it, but I want to know what I can do as an individual to participate in making good changes. When I refer to “community” I am often thinking of my specific city, but this applies to you, regardless of location. I want my city to be better, in order for that to happen, some things need to change. But what needs to change? What needs to happen to accomplish this change?

Change is when you make something different, you “alter” something. So, one may conclude that if you want a larger group to change (aka a city), then the individuals in that group (citizens) must also change. Herein lies a problem. We don’t think we need to change. We think by default that “I am right”, “they” need help, “they” aren’t doing it right, “they” should be doing it differently, “they” made bad choices, I could go on and on because I have thought all those things. I think that we are allowed by the groups we hang out with to think this way because we tend to hang out with people that think similarly to ourselves and are not challenged to think differently, perhaps, from a different view point.

Now I will give an example of branching out. I have a friend named Tawny Labarbera who together with her friend Lindsay had the great idea of starting Supper Club. The idea of course was birthed at a birthday party. Every other month a different person hosts the club and everyone brings a dish of some sort to share. We eat great food, drink great wine, and laugh a lot! Every event is different and new people are always showing up, some are single, some are moms, some are dating, some have kids, you get the point, everyone could be identified with a “different group”.   I didn’t know any of these people before I showed up. Yeah, it was a little awkward showing up to a house belonging to someone I didn’t know and to hang out with people that are crazy (crazy fun, I mean!), but that’s what branching out is all about (though at one point, I did stand at someone’s door who had no idea what Supper Club was, only to find out that I was at the wrong house, sigh)! I met some amazing people through this club that I wouldn’t have met otherwise! (I would also like to take a minute to plug Tawny’s Etsy site, she makes really cool clocks, buy one here!) And if your fear of awkwardness is keeping you away from trying new things or meeting new people, check out my thoughts on awkwardness here.

Here are a few pictures from our previous Supper Club events; maybe you will want to start something like this (I want to credit Melissa Cahoon for the awesome pics!):

 

 

Don’t become stagnant or culturally irrelevant because you refuse to branch out. Be proactive in finding new people to mingle with and bring new people into your circle, mix it up! Have conversations that are different from the norm because you are hanging out with people that are different from the norm.  And if you need to take someone with you, I will volunteer! I love meeting new people and need to be challenged with new social situations too! Who knows what kind of change can be brought about by simply making more friends?

And with that, I end this post with a song. This song doesn't necessarily have to do with the post itself, but if you are going to be throwing parties to meet new people, then you need to have a good play list, so here is a song from a band I love (no, I do not own this video, yes, I want to see this band live, and if this band comes to your party, I better get an invite): The Avett Brothers-Kick Drum Heart

(Please feel free to give me feedback and ideas!)