Filtering Flaws For a Forever Fabulous Finish is Futile

Do you ever wish that there was an Instagram filter for your life? I do. I wish that.

If I could apply a filter to some of the conversations or thoughts I’ve had they wouldn’t seem as bad as I remember them. Or even better, I wouldn’t look as bad to the people I had talked to or thought negatively about. A filter makes everything better, less harsh or unattractive, at the very least, makes something “artsy”, or dare I say it….”hipster-esq”.

I'll use  myself as an example so that only I am embarrassed:

Normal, aka #nofilter:

 

Mayfield filter applied, border, fish bubble

(Instant jaw line, say what?!)

 

 

What I have been wondering is what if the flaws (let’s just group everything under this category) actually are ok to be viewed as they are? Follow me here. If I smooth over a flaw, then I don’t really know what I am dealing with, so how can I fix it in the future? So I am left with two options: 1) Either keep the flaw, and always apply the filter for the smoothed over look, knowing things are not as put together as they appear and thus never having confidence, OR 2) Be daring and expose the flaw so that it can be remedied with finality? To be clear, I normally choose option 1, it is in my personality’s default setting….now I just sound like a robot, let’s move on.

I feel like I should mention that my life is not an open book. I used to be like one of those diaries you get as a little girl that had the little key lock attached, impossible to open as a 6 year old. But now I would say I am more like a hard cover and I insert the chapters I’ll let you read, but they may not be in order, and there are chapters still yet to be written…it is something I have been working on because “vulnerability” is a four letter word to me.  I am confident that I am not alone in this.  But it seems only fitting that if I am going to write about flaws and filters, I should give a personal example? I hate reading vague contexts and superficial what ifs. Give me a minute (better give me tons of minutes) to think of something I don’t mind sharing. Please hit the play button on this video I do not own:

Back when I was in college I remember walking out of a large classroom, probably containing about 60 students, into the neighboring hallway (if I just left this sentence by itself, it would qualify for one of the most boring introductions ever, I know). This is going somewhere. Immediately after class I proceeded to tell a friend who also attended the class, how boring and unbearable the class was with no few words…that means I talked a lot about how I hated the class, and I can be fairly loud. My heart dropped when I turned to find the professor of that horribly dull class a couple of feet behind me. While to this day I maintain that the class was boring, I was sure he heard me and that my conversation with this girl likely did the opposite of inspire confidence in this teacher (who by the way I really like, but the subject matter was blah), yes, teachers have feelings too. This was one of those moments where I wish I had a filter, possible even a muzzle or better yet, duct tape. I wish I could apply the “forget that memory” filter, but if I don’t remember being “caught”, then I wouldn’t remember that I have a flaw that needs fixing, and I wouldn’t be sensitive to that sort of thing happening to others (let’s be clear, there are TONS of things I need to work on, obviously, but one mountain at a freaking time).

What about the girl who “fixes” every photo of herself before she allows it to be seen by others? Been there, done that.  Have you noticed this? Don’t even get me started on lots of girls taking pictures together! Whenever a group shot is taken, it takes a million shots to get one that every girl is happy with, resulting in a lot of tired faces and more future “smile wrinkles.” We are so used to “fixing” or applying a filter to make us look “better” that we don’t appreciate a picture that captures us as we are, not perfect. Instead of seeing a beautiful, one of a kind, magnificent creation, we immediately look at the crooked smile, big butt, or non-curvy frame and beg for countless retakes.  How much freedom would you have if you didn’t have to maintain the illusion of perfection?

I am not against filters in fact I love them when referring to Instagram, but I think they should be used only when reality is appreciated first and foremost. To be clear, flaws in and of themselves are not beautiful, but let's not compound the mess by pretending they are not there, or that they don't exist. Let’s not be afraid of “normal” (i.e.  #nofilter for those of you born after 1995) and learn to appreciate reality and beauty despite the flaws, and when those flaws come out, don't freak out, let's deal with them so they don't come back!

(Cue outro song) I wish I had written this song, here are the lyrics, and I wish I owned this video: