A Typical Morning

So I am trying this whole blogging thing out, and realized that in order for you to value anything I write, you should probably know who I am. I have a lot of years behind me enough experience in life to share a ton of stories, but instead of sharing every little detail of the last “enter approximate age years here”, I will just share a typical morning, so you get the “jist” of how my life is.

I wake up to country music playing on my alarm clock/radio, not necessarily because I love country music and need to wake up to some twang, but definitely because it is the only radio station the antennae picks up in the little house I live in….located in another person’s backyard. This should be enough for you to feast on, but wait, there’s more. It takes me approximately 30 minutes of lying in bed in order to wake up, translation: 5-6 hits on the snooze button. Originally, I strategically placed my alarm clock across the room so that I would have to get up and turn it off, and thus “wake up.” However, I have perfected the art of crossing my room in only 2 steps WITH my eyes closed, so getting up 5-10 times soon became a conquered challenge. It is better to just lie there until I can walk with my eyes open and function properly.

 

Anyway, once I am awake, I usually have about 30 minutes to get ready and leave the house, this is easy enough; I am a working woman after all. Now this is when I begin the self-imposed argument about self-control and discipline, while I am walking to my car I ALWAYS have some inner dialogue about whether or not I will go buy a vanilla latte, or if THIS is the day that I will refuse and wait to drink tea at the office.  Luckily, it is only a 5 minute drive to Starbucks so the conversation doesn’t get too far and normally ends with something like, “Maybe next week,” or “This is ok, I have budgeted this in,” or on some occasions, “Shut up, me! IneedthisitisafreakingMonday (note that Monday is interchangeable with any of the other 6 days)!” For those of you tea lovers out there wondering why I don’t just wait for the tea, I should mention that once I get to the office, I also have a hot cup of tea once the vanilla latte is gone. And for those of you who are about to suggest a different latte flavor, let me stop you, don’t be ridiculous. For those of you who know I am cutting my caffeine, I used to get 2 shots or more of espresso, it was beautiful:

 

And to be clear, this is how most people recognize me (latte face):

 

 

Sometimes I have bouts of craziness before I have coffee, like today, I opened my car door after purchasing my beverage (8oz, one pump of vanilla, latte), and paused because I actually thought I heard sleigh bells…no, no it was just my car keys.

 

And  no, I do not work at a mental institution, nor do I work at the North Pole…ok, rabbit trail with me for a minute, I wish there was a “West Pole,” an all beach terrain where it was always sunny, warm, fun and always smelled like BBQ…I would definitely want to work there, or here:

 

Once at work, I change into “business Adrienne,” kind of like “Career Barbie” but without the “Barbie” (no picture available). This is where I would like to offer Work Survival Tip #27: The coffee cup warmer can be used as a hand warmer if you are on hold for more than 30 minutes at a time and unable to procure a jacket or mittens from your car. Now, if you read my Facebook status or Tweets (shameless Twitter plug: adrienneyerzy), you will know that I eat an apple around 10am everyday, an apple that is safely placed upon a yellow post-it note on the right side of my desk. This in itself is not weird, I know that. But what has been happening is that every day between 9:50 am and 10:10am the UPS driver parks outside my office window. Now, I grab for the apple when I see that brown uniform and am a little concerned that future me is going to be embarrassed when I see a brown uniform and start salivating. This is an issue that may have to be dealt with at a later date.

Well, this information brings you up to date on my mornings. And now you know a little of the mind that writes these blogs. Take it or leave it. But please take it, seriously….I don’t want to have to tell people that I blog, when in reality it is an online “diary” that only I read. Seriously.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.